Making the decision to leave a marriage is scary especially when you fear being alone and the uncertainty of the future.
Staying in an unhappy marriage can have long-term effects on our mental and emotional health. Research shows that people in bad marriages usually have low self-esteem, struggle with anxiety and depression. Often people feel sad and grieve when they decide to let go but people who divorce do recover emotionally.
So many stick with it, settling for pain and dissatisfaction instead and if you’re not sure, here are 5 signs that you’re stuck in a loveless marriage.
If any of these signs mean something to you then it’s time to take a long hard look at the state of your marriage.
1. You don’t have anything to say to each other
When something comes up in life, whether that’s a work event or any accomplishment and your partner isn’t the first person you’re sharing it with, or one of the first, it means that you prefer to get your needs mets outside the relationship.
Not having any meaningful conversations aside from rudimentary conversations about chores and things that need to get done is a warning sign that your relationship is not in a good place.
2. The void between you keeps growing wider and wider
One way to distinguish between a run-of-the-mill marital rut and a loveless marriage is to ask yourself how long the situation has been this way, and whether it’s been steadily worsening.
Most couples go through rough times, but if the difficulties last more than two years, with no sign of relief, you probably should seek professional help. And sooner is always better to avoid passing the point of no return.
3. You dream about a life without your spouse
If you often imagine a happy future without your partner, that’s a major sign that things aren’t right.
This is a part of the emotional detachment process, during which you may try to convince yourself that you don’t care anymore so that the eventual separation feels less painful.
Detaching psychologically by fantasising about having an affair or making plans for the future that don’t include your partner can all be signs that you’ve fallen out of love.
4. You’re not being listened to (or listening)
When you sit down to talk with your spouse about what’s working and what isn’t, do you hear silence? Or does it feel like nothing changes, no matter how vocal you are about your feelings? That’s a problem!
The most powerful tool we have for resolving our conflicts is listening and understanding one another.
When we invite our partners to share what we’ve done to let them down, and when we truly listen and understand their feelings, decades of hurt and anger can easily fade away. Make a point of listening for the underlying emotions and messages in your partner’s words.
5. You’re about to have an emotional affair
If you’re not happy with your husband, you might be falling into an emotional affair, making another male the priority in your life, and thanks to today’s technology, it’s easier than ever to get caught up. Technology has allowed people who might never risk having any kind of affair to flirt online.
This creates a situation of ‘temptation,’ and not everything that takes place online stays online. If your relationship is already on the rocks, giving yourself to someone else, even if it’s only online will only make things worse.